Through the disease

I'm sickness
I am a disease.
It's not me,
I'm not the illness,
but it's eating me.

I fight as hard as I can
and I get exhausted,
it's a beast without face,
it's a fear with no name.

It makes me look like a monster,
it makes me lose my mind,
it makes me think
the whole world is against me,
they have a scheme
to destroy me.

Sometimes I know
it's not real
but too often
I cannot tell
what's real
and what's caused
by that awful thing
d e p r e s s i o n.

I have a name
I have a face
I have a heart
I'm a human,
I'd like to be treated
like one of them,
like anyone.

But there's this thing
that keeps me in prison
inside myself
and makes me think
they're all against me
they want to destroy me.

Sometimes I don't know
which are my own thoughts
and which are nasty words
of that monster inside me
or am I inside it?

D e p r e s s i o n.
I'm fighting it.
It cannot win.
I want you to see me.
I want you to understand
that's not me.
I want you to try
and see me
through this thing.